Would would you do, given a chance to meet God?

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Steelers QB in motorcycler crash

I don’t like Ben Rothlisberger – I don’t know why, he seems like an OK guy. He does play for the Steelers, who I dislike, but I never really cared one way or the other about Bubby Brister or Tommy Maddox (I did greatly dislike Kordell Stewart, and took great delight in his failures against the Patriots – maybe I just don’t like Steeler QB’s that win?).

Regardless, I would certainly never wish ill on another human being, even one I disliked, and took no personal pleasure in Big Ben’s motorcycle accident yesterday, but really, how stupid can you be? I don’t mean to pile on, but really:

1. Why are you riding motorcycles if you’re a pro athlete? If my job depended on my body being in top physical conditions, I wouldn’t be riding a screaming crotch rocket around (without a helmet, no less, but we’ll get to that in a sec). I wouldn’t even play a pickup game of basketball. You just have so much to lose. Save that shit for when you retire.
2. How could he not wear a helmet. He’s a freaking football player, you’d think he’d be used to it. And if you think it looks dumb, I imagine having no teeth in your mouth would make you look a little dumber.
3. All Pittsburgh has is football, so you’re carrying the hopes and dreams of a lot of people around. Pittsburgh doesn’t have an NBA team. The Penguins finished last in their conference this year. The Pirates would be the laughingstock of the NHL is it wasn’t for the Royals. The Steelers are all there is. Way to dash the hopes and dreams of an entire city, Ben.

One thing I heard is that Ben will require facial surgery similar to what former WWF wrestler Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake underwent. Does this mean Rothlisberger will start hosting his own NFL interview segment called “Big Ben’s Clocktower?"