California Diary Day 1 (2/13/04)

My company sent me on a week long business trip to sunny California recently. Here is an account of that week.

Obviously, to get to San Francisco, you have to fly; something I haven’t done in God knows how many years (well before 9/11). Honestly, I never really had to fly; everything I needed—family, friends, school, work—was all located in the Northeast. So I was a little nervous—not of flying, or even terrorists—but of going to the wrong terminal and ending up trapped in Boise or Tulsa.

Thankfully, I get on the right plane for my connecting flight to L.A. Everyone told me to buy headphones to amuse myself, but when I learned the in-flight movie was Wimbledon, I figured I’d save myself five bucks. After all, I had the last 200 pages of The Fortress of Solitude, so I’d just read and maybe take a nap. No problem, right?

Big problem. Did I mention this was a six and a half hour flight? I found out I have a hard time reading on flights, what with the turbulence and noise and general discomfort of coach. I found myself staring at the TV monitors and trying to figure out the basic plotline of the silent Wimbledon, which turned out to be remarkably easy. The I watched silent episodes of Everybody loves Raymond while this old Italian guy with huge nose hair guffawed like a horse. It was a long day.

I hung around LAX for an hour and bought an US Weekly to kill some time. What a rag. How can anyone read this shit? I’m not trying to be an elitist—remember, I’m a pro wrestling fan. But this was the stupidest, most vapid waste of paper I ever had the displeasure to read. Really, who’s entertained by features like “Stars—they’re just like us!” (Really? Get out of here!)

Plus I sat next to a couple with a small baby that started crying, and the parents found it a more prudent course of action to just stare at their kid instead of just, I don’t know, picking him up.

I make it to San Fran and thought the airline lost my luggage. I thought my bad was jet black as opposed to light silver. I was ready to start crying until I saw one bag on the terminal—I zipped it up and saw my clock radio. Thank God.

I had a taxi service take me through Oakland and to Walnut Creek, California, and the Embassy Suites hotel where I was staying. I was so tired I went to bed at 8, not even staying up to watch The Simpsons.

End of day one.

I told you blogging would be light. See, I was in California for a week on a business trip from 2/13-2/19. I would have made some sort of announcement, but I always feel paranoid about announcing that I won't be home for an extended period of time. During the week I'll post a diary of my adventures out West.

Learned about Tedy Bruschi's stroke during the week. Terrible news. I would definitely retire if I was him--he's got a family, and he's already played nine seasons and won three rings and played in a Pro Bowl, so there's nothing left to accomplish. He can take a job, maybe as an assistant coach and remain on the sidelines and be a hero for the rest of his life in New England.

I watched the "sneak preview" of American Dad after the Super Bowl. It was OK, but it was such a direct rip-off of Family Guy I wondered why it was even put on the air (since Family Guy was, you know, cancelled and stuff). I'll cut them some slack, since it was the pilot and all that, but it's going to need a lot of work.

Blogging will be light for a few days.

A few post Super Bowl thoughts:

*It's tough to explain how bizarre it is that people are talking about the Patriots as a dynasty, never mind one of the best teams in football. I just never really thought we would ever win a Super Bowl. We were a franchise pockmarked with failure and disgrace. Even when we made it against the Packers, it just did not seem like we belonged. Super Bowl wins were for other teams. Now we've won three out of four.

*This is probably early, but I don't think we threepeat next year. Losing Crenel and Weis is going to hurt, plus we play a monster schedule. Just an early prediction.

*As little as I care for Terrell Owens and his shennanigans, I has to give him credit. He played above and beyond what I ever dreamed he would do. The man's a warrior.

*Freddie Mitchell, on the other hand, talked the talked but clearly could not walk the walk. Rodney Harrison caught more passes from McNabb that you did, man.

*What the hell was Philly doing at the end of the game? Why are you huddling when you're down by two scores? Did they bring in Herm Edwards to guest-coach at the end? This is the Super Bowl, not an intramural game, fellas.

*McNabb had a bad night. Yeah, he threw for 350 yards, but he also tossed three crippling interceptions, and a lot of his passes looked off all night. A C- performance.

*Best commercials: Bud Light (the skydiving one), Fed Ex (Burt Reynolds getting hit in the groin = teh funny), Ameriquest (or whichever one was the "don't judge quickly" ad). Most overrated was the godaddy.com ads. Just not funny.

A few random thoughts on Super Bowl Sunday:

*Every day on my way to work I pass the local high school, and on the lawn in front of the school there's a sandwich board sign that advertises a play called "Revenge of the Space Pandas." This thing always grabs my attention, because of (A) the wacky name, and (B) the fact that besides the name of the play, there's also a set of mean looking eyeballs, which presumably belong to the pandas in question.

Anyway, I got curious about this name. Was it a joke? Did a student write it (presumably after cutting shop class to smoke a pound of skunk weed)? So I did a little research and found it it is an actual play, written by David Mamet no less. Yes, that David Mamet. I'm serious. Go look it up.

*Here's my new favorite website this month: The Comics Curmugdeon, which is basically a witty breakdown of several comic strips, including such winners as B.C. and Judge Parker. The Mark Trail stuff about burping cows just killed me, especially the drawing of a bovine that looked to be in mid-belch.

*The most popular search leading people to this site? Some form of "Serena Sutherland" and "lesbian." Glad to be of service, folks.

*As, yes, the Super Bowl. News flash: I think the Patriots are going to win. Forget all the talk of ankles and Fredex; the Patriots are just a better team. Look at the way they decimated Indy and Pittsburgh. And then look at who the Eagles beat on their way to the bowl: Minnesota (pretty good team) and Atlanta (wildly inconsistent). I think Philly's going to get overwhelmed in the end.

The Shoe's predicted score:

Patriots 31
Eagles 14