Much fun yesterday, as the third game of the Boston Red Sox/Tampa Bay Devil Rays game featured two hit batsman (nearly three), six ejections, two bench clearings, and one eyepoke. Strangley, stuff like this is common between the two teams. Last year, Scott Kazmir was ejected for hitting two Red Sox players in the span of four pitches. I remember similar incidents dating back to 2002 (look for Bill Simmons' "My Dance With the Devil Rays" column for more details).

Why are these two teams feuding? Let's look at the classic reasons for rivalries.

History: Perhaps two teams have a rich history of battling each other in emotional games, the types of games your fathers and grandfathers remember.

The Boston Red Sox, as an organization, have been around for over a hundred years.
The Tampa Bay Devil Rays played their first game in 1998.

Location: Let's face it, geographical closeness breeds contempt, and it's easier to fight with someone if they're close by. Interacting with the opposing team's fans on a consistent basis always adds fuel to the fire.

St. Petersburg, Florida, is 1400 miles away from Boston, while Toronto, the next fartherst team in the AL East, is only 550 miles away. Curiously, there are always more Red Sox fans at Tropicana Field than D-Ray fans, although if you look at Tampa Bay's attendence, that's not saying much.

Competition: Maybe two teams are always duking it out for the top spot in the division, leading to a lot of meaningful, emotional games.

In the seven year history of the D-Rays, they've averaged a 64-98 record. The Red Sox, in the same timespan, has averaged a record of 91-71, a 27 game difference. The Sox have also made the playoffs four times since 1998, and won the World Series in 2004. But 2004 was also a banner year for the D-Rays, as they won the most game in franchise history (70) and also finished highest in the standings (fourth, the first time in history they did not finish last).

So this redefines "inexplicable."

Two more thoughts from yesterday's game:

1. What is up with the D-Rays jerseys? Actually, they're not jerseys: they wear long sleeve green shirts with a jersey-vest over it. It looks so low rent.

2. John Kruk on Baseball Tonight lambasted Jay Payton for watching his grand slam leave the park, dropping the "act like you've done it before" lines. Actually, I don't think Jay Payton has ever done it before. Do you still have to act like you have if, in fact, you haven't?

Two things that demand comment:

*I was in Barnes & Noble yesterday and actually saw a book called Yoga For Wimps. How pathetic are you if need yoga toned down for you? It’s not exactly high impact exercise. Plus there’s apparently a whole line of “For Wimps” books, like the “Idiot’s Guide” and “Dummies” brand of self-help books. I think I'd rather be a dummy than a wimp. Presumably, with the knowledge contained in the books, I could become less of a dummy. But I doubt a book can make you less wimpy, especially one about yoga.

*I was flipping around this weekend and came across one of those entertainment newsmagazine shows (can’t remember which one). They were discussing Brittany Spears’ pregnancy, and ran a poll asking the viewer which female celebrity they would like to see knocked up next—the choices were Demi Moore, Jessica Simpson, and someone else. First of all, who cares? How is your life affected one iota if any celebrity gets knocked up?

Then, and this killed me, because Jessica Simpson won, they did a photo treatment to show what she would look like if she was pregnant. Really, are we this lacking in imagination that we cannot picture what Jessica Simpson would look like if she was pregnant? Here’s a hint: she’d have a big stomach.

There's been a pretty big uptick in the # of hits for the blog recently. I wish I could say its because of my incomparable wittiness, but mainly its the result of search engines looking for the following three items:

1. Serena Sutherland (it's been three months since she left Law & Order, folks)
2. Pedro Martinez' World Series ring (I don't have it, sorry)
3. "Bling It On" (hopefully not looking to buy the product)

Wonderful, wonderful day for the Red Sox yesterday. Not only did the players receive their rings and they raised the World Series flag, the Sox thumped the Yankees 8-1.

My three favorite moments:

5. Keith Foulke catching Bobby Orr's first pitch (since Orr called Foulke and convinced him to come to Boston).
4. Bill Russell's comical first pitch.
3. The Red Sox fans giving Mariano Rivera a standing ovation.
2. Dave Roberts and Dererk Lowe returning wearing Red Sox jerseys
1. Johnny Pesky greeting every Red Sox player, coming to Curtis Leskanic, and yelling "Leskanic, you son of a bitch!"

By the way, John Kruk on ESPN said Lowe and Roberts should not have worn a Red Sox jersey, since they're disrespecting their current teams (the Dodgers and Padres, respectively). Give me a freaking break. They put on a jersey and got a ring to celebrate , that's all. Lowe didn't pitch in the game, Roberts didn't take BP. If, say, Lowe was picked up by the Yankees, and he wore a Red Sox Jersey to pick up his ring, yeah, that's a little off. But the Red Sox aren't in the same friggin league as the Dodgers and Padres. Seriously, if this upsets you, you need to lighten up.

A few random notes:

*If you're not watching Robot Chicken on Adult Swim, you should. Basically, it's a bunch of really geeky skits done with stop motion animation. Last week's episode was iffy, but the few weeks before that was great. It's tough to hate on a show that does "Electric Mayhem: Behind the Music" and a skit featuring Cobra Commander,
Skeletor, Lex Luthor, and Mum-Ra carpooling to work. One of the few shows where I say "Damn, I can't believe it's already over" at the end. OK, it's 11 minutes long and they cram a bunch of skits in, but still...

*New worst commercial on TV: the "bling it on" ad, which is a machine that allows you to paste shiny beads onto objects. Several youngsters applied the "bling" to things like laptops and notebooks and say the word "bling" about 1000 times. But the worst is this woman in her 40's, who exclaims "It's not just for kids. I love to "Bling it up" too," and she puts on some sunglasses adorned with the shiny beads I swear, I die inside when I see this. It makes Burger King's new ads look like the Mean Joe Greene commercial.

*Have you seen some of the goofiness surrounding the Pope's death? Like the ritual where they hit him on the head three times with a silver mallet to see if he's alive? Holy crap, it is 2005, isn't it?

I found a bunch of mp3's I forgot I had on my computer this weekend.

Asbury Park Mix
1. The Who: "Baba O'Reily"
2. Samiam: "She Found You"
3. Samiam: "Sunshine"
4. Samiam: "Pretty Face, Clouded Mind"
5. Seaweed: "Go Your Own Way" [Fleetwood Mac Cover]
6. Andrew WK: "Party Hard"
7. James: "Laid"
8. Fatboy Slim: "Going Out of My Head"
9. Kidz Bop Kidz: "Float On" [Modest Mouse Cover]
10. Weezer: "Beverly Hills"
11. Guided By Voices: "Best of Jill Hives"
12. Gavin DeGraw: "I Don't Wanna Be"
13. Ted Leo: "Since U Been Gone" [Kelly Clarkson cover]
14. Bash & Pop: "Making Me Sick"
15. Bob Dylan, Ton Petty, Neil Young, & George Harrison: "My Back Pages" [live]
16. Golden Smog: "Shooting Star" [Bad Company cover]
17. Pearl Jam: "I Won't Back Down" [live Tom Petty cover]
18: A3: "Woke Up This Morning"
19: Bim Skala Bim: "Diggin' a Hole" [live]
20: Space Monkeys: "Sugar Cane"
21: Rage Against the Machine: "Guerrila Radio"
22: Soul Asylum: "Can't Even Tell"