I've been watching a lot of M*A*S*H recently. The Hallmark Channel runs four episodes each weekday, from 5-7 PM and repeating the block from 11-1 AM. M*A*S*H was, of course, about the adventures of the 4077th mobile army surgical hosptial during the Korean War (and from the show, Korea apparently resembles a California State Park.)

M*A*S*H was an odd show. During it's 11 year run, it started as a dark comedy with dramatic overtones, and over the years the drama side kept creeping higher until it overwhelmed the show at the end.

(Not that drama itself is a bad thing. Let's face it, war and hospitals are two of the most dramatic settings possible, never mind combining the two. I would even argue the change in tone was somewhat necessary to the show--as much fun as the earlier slapstick episodes where, how long could you really go that route? Let's face it, Frank Burns is a somewhat one-note character. The issue is that by the end it wasn't *good* drama. The show just thumped you over the head with a "war is bad" message until you threw your hands up.)

Hallmark is currently cycling through the fourth season, so you should still tune in (season eight is generally regarded as the big drop off point). Unfortunately, if you're tuning in now you missed out on the first three seasons with Henry Blake (McLean Stevenson) and Trapper John (Wayne Rogers).

Blake's final episode is still a huge stomach punch when you watch it today. Basically, Henry finds out he's going home, and the whole episode is basically one big party. Then we find out in the last scene that his plane was shot down over the sea of Japan, spun out, and there were no survivors. It still hurts watching it today, I can't imagine seeing it when it first aired 30 years ago.

Stevenson's starred in a series of flops like "Hello Larry" and "Condo," making his decision to leave the show the worst career decision ever until David Caruso came around.

Rogers also left after season three and had to be abruptly written out of the show. Curiously, the character of Trapper was ressurected a few years (played by a different actor) later in a drama (?), called "Trapper John MD." To complicate matters, Wayne Rogers was simultaneously playing a Trapper John-esque character on a show called "House Calls."

Just make sure you turn off the TV if "Bless You Hawkeye" is on. Maybe my least favorite half-hour of television ever.

And here's a double shot to close out our look at the 90's:

Disc Six:
01 "Wonderwall" - Oasis (Ah, Oasis’ big breakthrough. The wheels came off pretty quick for them, but they were still one of the best live shows I ever saw in ’96.)
02 "Birthday Cake" - Cibo Matto (Everyone used to talk about this band. Then I listened to a tape of their stuff. It sucked.)
03 "Cumbersome" - Seven Mary Three (Bad bar band that somehow had a hit, and were never heard from again.)
04 "One of Us" - Joan Osborne (Hmmm, what if God was one of us? Would he know what the hell happened to Joan Osbourne?)
05 "Caught by the Fuzz" - Supergrass (Another greatly underappreciated band. I listened to "In It For The Money" a million times in the summer of '97.)
06 "Sweet 69" - Babes In Toyland (Not my thing.)
07 "Breakfast at Tiffany's" - Deep Blue Something (Crappy one-hit wonder.)
08 "Photograph" - The Verve Pipe (Thank god they didn't put "The Freshman" on here. This song's not that bad, really.)
09 "In the Meantime" - Spacehog (Great song, good band that shouldn't have faded like they did.)
10 "Woo Hah!! Got You All In Check" - Busta Rhymes (A shame Busta turned into a self-parody of himself so quickly — he had some good songs there for a while.)
11 "Who Will Save Your Soul" - Jewel (Ah, Jewel in her hippie folk days, before she turned into whatever she is now.)
12 "Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth With Money In My Hand" - Primitive Radio Gods (OK one-hit-wonder, nothing overly memorable.)
13 "Cybele's Reverie" - Stereolab (Was never into Sterelab, sorry, but I appreciate them being here.)
14 "Capri Pants" - Bikini Kill (Er, riot grrrl stuff was never my thing.)
15 "What I Got" - Sublime (Sublime holds up surprisingly well. I still pull this album out every so often.)
16 "Kung Fu" - Ash (Argh, should have put "Goldeneye" instead. Good track nonetheless.)
17 "Virtual Insanity" - Jamiroquai (The "moving furniture" video. Sounds so much like Stevie Wonder you may as well listen to the real deal.)
18 "Naked Eye" - Luscious Jackson (Pretty much their only song I could stand.)
19 "Outtasite (Outta Mind)" - Wilco (A surprising but welcome addition.)

Disc Seven:
01 "itszoweezee (hot)" - De La Soul (If it ain’t Three Feet High And Rising, I ain’t interested.)
02 "LoveFool" - The Cardigans (Great song. This band should not have been a one-hit-wonder.)
03 "Radiation Vibe" - Fountains Of Wayne (Like the band, not this song though.)
04 "The Impression That I Get" - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones (Big hit for the Bosstones. They had better songs but I still like this.)
05 "Turn It On" - Sleater-Kinney (Never saw the big deal about Sleater-Kinney.)
06 "Bitch" - Meredith Brooks (I remember this. Total chick song.)
07 "MMMBop" - Hanson (You know, we all laughed at this song when it came out. But then came the Backstreet Boys and N Sync and their ilk, and really, Hanson doesn’t seem so bad compared to them, do they?)
08 "Brian Wilson" (live) - Barenaked Ladies (One of the few BNL songs I don’t mind.)
09 "Brick" - Ben Folds Five (A good song, but BF5 tried and tried and never managed to reach the heights of their first album.)
10 "Sex and Candy" - Marcy Playground (I had this song on an old CMJ sampler, and I liked it the first time I heard it. It was sandwiched between two other songs I really liked (Paul K and the Weathermen’s “Slow It Down” and The Phoids “Never Liked You Much Anyway”). Imagine my surprise when Marcy Playground emerged with a leftfield hit.)
11 "Walking on the Sun" - Smash Mouth (Do I have this album? I might.)
12 "Tubthumping" - Chumbawamba (Haven’t heard this in forever. Fun to sing along to.)
13 "6 Underground" - Sneaker Pimps (I know them but don’t remember this song.)
14 "Lullaby" - Shawn Mullins (I don’t know this song. I’m not even sure of the artist’s gender.)
15 "Slide" - Goo Goo Dolls (Let me tell you, I bought a copy of “A Boo Named Goo” well before they had a hit with “Name (I had heard the track “Only One” on WAAF and loved it). That album and it’s faux-Replacements rock holds up well. Every afterwards is poo.)
16 "Kiss Me" - Sixpence None the Richer (BARF.)
17 "Steal My Sunshine" - LEN (A definite guilty pleasure song.)
18 "What It's Like" - Everlast (Don’t care for the song, but the guy from House of Pain reinventing himself as a folkish solo act and having a hit is pretty high on the inexplicable meter.)
19 "Natural Blues" – Moby (There are much better Moby songs to pick.)

The end. Not sure what Rhino was going for here (well, besides songs of the 90's). There's a million ommissions, but even with 70 CD's you'd probably be leaving a lot off.

Disc Five:
01 "Shine" - Collective Soul (Never cared for them, although they did have better songs than this.)
02 "Far Behind" - Candlebox (Well, if you have to have a Candlebox song it may as well be this one. I actually met them at a Strawberries in town years and years ago. There was a huge line like the Beatles were there or something. I wonder if anyone who was there would fess up or even remember being there? Especially the girl behind us who took naked pictures of herself for the band?)
03 "You Gotta Be" - Des'ree (Chicks dig this song. Go ask one.)
04 "Girl You'll Be a Woman Soon" - Urge Overkill (Another underappreciated band. "Sister Havana" was such a great song and should have been a big hit.)
05 "She Don't Use Jelly" - The Flaming Lips (Who would have thought this band would turn into one of the most respected and critically praised bands of the 90's/00's?)
06 "m.i.a." - 7 Year Bitch (Another semi-obscure Seattle band!)
07 "21st Century (Digital Boy)" - Bad Religion (Pretty natural choice here, for both the band and the song.)
08 "Sugar Free Jazz" - Soul Coughing (Bleh.)
09 "Mockingbirds" - Grant Lee Buffalo (Never heard this one.)
10 "What's the Frequency Kenneth?" - R.E.M. (I like this song, but there's about twenty better R.E.M. songs from the 90's. This was really the beginning of the end for them too.)
11 "Revolve" - Melvins (Can't place this one--the Melvins output tends to run together to me.)
12 "Buddy Holly" - Weezer (Ah, Weezer. Count me in the camp that thinks the Blue Album was better than Pinkerton.)
13 "Here and Now" - Letters to Cleo (Don't remember this one.)
14 "Good" - Better Than Ezra (I have this album. There are exactly two good songs on it--this one and "In the Blood.")
15 "Run-Around" - Blues Traveler (This song was ubiquitous in the summer of '95. I have no beef with it now.)
16 "I'll Be There for You" (Theme From "Friends") - The Rembrandts (Annoying song from an annoying show.)
17 "Tomorrow" - Silverchair (Ha, remember this? They faded out predictably quick.)
18 "Not a Pretty Girl" - Ani DiFranco (I like a handful of Ani songs. This ain't one of 'em.)
19 "Carnival" - Natalie Merchant (OK if you're a college co-ed. Otherwise, nope.)

Disc Four:
01 "Thunder Kiss '65" - White Zombie (Heavy on the schtick, but Zombie had some good tunes for a while.)
02 "Whoomp! (There It Is)" - Tag Team (I was going to label this a novelty rap song, but I guess it isn't. I heard this for the first time in a while a few weeks back. Kinda sucks.)
03 "Broken Hearted Savior" - Big Head Todd and the Monsters (Were they a jam band? Name rings a bell, song does not.)
04 "Trust Me" - Guru with N'Dea Davenport (Zuh?)
05 "Here Comes" - Velocity Girl (OK band, not overly memorable.)
06 "Gepetto" - Belly (Never my thing, personally.)
07 "Eye to Eye" - The Muffs (Never knew why they never bigger. The only hit they had was from a Snapple commercial (it wasn't this song--you'd know it if you heard it).)
08 "Gentlemen" - Afghan Whigs (Could never get into the Whigs.)
09 "Leafy Incline" - Tad (TAD!!!!!~~~~~)
10 "Dream All Day" - The Posies (Probably the most underappreciated band of the 90's.)
11 "Hey Jealousy" - Gin Blossoms (I like this song probably a lot more than I should. Gin Blossoms had some good singles back in the day.)
12 "My Sister" - The Juliana Hatfield Three (See #6.)
13 "Whatta Man" - Salt-N-Pepa (I still remember the hook to this one. You saw it in a ton of sports montages around that time.)
14 "Back & Forth" - Aaliyah (Aaliyah's the one that died in a plane crash, right? The only song of hers that I remember is the one where she was dancing in a cave and the song had a bunch of baby noises in it.)
15 "If That's Your Boyfriend (He Wasn't Last Night)" - Me'Shell Ndegéocello (No thanks.)
16 "Freedom of '76" - Ween (Not a big Ween fan.)
17 "Cut Your Hair" - Pavement (I think you could make a solid case for Pavement being the band of the 90's.)
18 "God" - Tori Amos (Never cared much for Ms. Amos since I'm, y'know, a male.)
19 "MMM MMM MMM MMM" - Crash Test Dummies (AWFUL song.)
20 "Possession" - Sarah McLachlan (Whatever happened to her? She was pretty big for a while.)

Movin' right along...

Disc Three:
01 "Under the Bridge" - Red Hot Chili Peppers (Let me say, Blood Sugar Sex Magik does not hold up at all.)
02 "Unsung" - Helmet (Fantastic song, killer groove. I just stuck this on a mix CD.)
03 "Jump Around" - House Of Pain (I still get a kick out of this song.)
04 "Free Your Mind" - En Vogue (Song's not great, but damn, En Vogue was hot. A better, 90's version of Destiny's Child.)
05 "Rump Shaker" - Wreckx-N-Effect (Ah, here's Wreckx-N-Effect. Probably the #2 song about butts.)
06 "Informer" - Snow (This turned into a punchline almost instantly. A likki-boom-boom down.)
07 "Connected" - Stereo MCs (I've heard this one, not sure if I liked it or not.)
08 "Detachable Penis" - King Missile (Bad novelty song, if you couldn't guess by the title.)
09 "Freak Me" - Silk (Dunno.)
10 "Ordinary World" - Duran Duran (Comeback song for DD. I remember liking it.)
11 "If I Can't Change Your Mind" - Sugar (Ah, sweet Bob Mould.)
12 "Three Little Pigs" - Green Jelly (Novelty song. Sorta funny for maybe two listens. They used to be Green Jello before they got sued.)
13 "Start Choppin" - Dinosaur Jr. (Good choice.)
14 "The Devil's Chasing Me" - The Reverend Horton Heat (I always thought the Reverend was more schtick than musical chops, but that's just me.)
15 "Gone to the Moon" - Fastbacks (Can't hate any boxed set that sneaks the Fastbacks on there. Maybe they're making up for the lack of Nirvana, Pearl Jam, etc, with all these semi-obscure Seattle bands.)
16 "My Name Is Mud" - Primus (Ah, good old Primus. It's hard to believe music as weird as this went platinum several times.)
17 "What's Up" - 4 Non Blondes (Annoying. Surpisingly, Linda Perry lives on as a hitmaker for any young female solo artist.)

Disc Two:
01 "Silent Lucidity" - Queensryche (QR had much better songs, but this was easily
their biggest hit.)
02 "Into the Drink" - Mudhoney (What, not "Touch Me I'm Sick?")
03 "Girlfriend" - Matthew Sweet (This is a good song and a sizable hit, but the singles from 100% Fun were a lot better.)
04 "I'm Too Sexy" - Right Said Fred (Hugely annoying song, but you probably had to put it here.)
05 "Calling All Angels" - Jane Siberry (with k.d. lang) (Nope, no clue about this one.)
06 "Only Shallow" - My Bloody Valentine (Wow, MBV. Good choice.)
07 "It's a Shame About Ray" - The Lemonheads (I can think of five better Lemonheads songs off the top of my head. This one is perfectly fine, though.)
08 "Baby Got Back" - Sir Mix-A-Lot (In the long catalogeue of rap songs about butts, this surely has to be #1.)
09 "They Want EFX" - DAS EFX (I got them confused with Wreckx-N-Effect, and wondered why they didn't choose "Rmp Shaker." So never mind.)
10 "Jump" - Kris Kross (God, remember this? What happened to these two?)
11 "Walk" - Pantera (Best Pantera song ever. R-V-D! R-V-D!)
12 "N.W.O." - Ministry (I'll always remember when this video was shown on Beavis & Butthead, and Butthead did this hilarious imitation of Al Jourgensen's vocal style.)
13 "Shitlist" - L7 ("Pretend We're Dead" was much better.)
14 "Absynthe" - The Gits (I know the Gits, but not this song.)
15 "Coattail Rider" - Supersuckers (Can't go wrong with the 'suckers.)
16 "Runaway Train" - Soul Asylum (This may have been the most overplayed song of my lifetime.)
17 "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong" - Spin Doctors (Yuck.)
18 "Dizz Knee Land" - dada (Never heard of this one either.)
19 "Nearly Lost You" - Screaming Trees (Great band, great song.)

Rhino Records has a seven disc best of the 90's set coming out soon. Let's break it down:

>>Disc One:
01 "U Can't Touch This" - MC Hammer (If you were in middle school in 1990 like me, you had a copy of Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em This theft is “Superfreak” is Grand Theft Audio, but damn is it isn’t effective.)
02 "Nothing Compares 2 U" - Sinead O'Connor (Eh, whatever. If had you asked me back then why Sinead O’Connor’s career would have ended, “tearing up a picture of the Pope on Saturday Night Live” would have been pretty far down the list.)
03 "No Myth" - Michael Penn (Penn had a great single called “Long Way Down” from his follow up album that only I and Michael Penn remember.)
04 "Ladies First" - Queen Latifah (feat. Monie Love) (No recollection of this.)
05 "Ball and Chain" - Social Distortion (Cool, Social D. Good choice.)
06 "Birdhouse in Your Soul" - They Might Be Giants (TMBG can be problematic, but damn is this isn’t one catchy song.)
07 "Chloe Dancer/Crown of Thorns" - Mother Love Bone (Odd to see MLB, but a good song.)
08 "Here's Where the Story Ends" - The Sundays (Huh, never heard this one.)
09 "Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)" - C & C Music Factory (Remember the controversey when they had some girl "visualize" Martha Walsh's vocals in their video?)
10 "Groove Is in the Heart" - Deee-Lite (Whatever happened to this band? This was a pretty good tune.)
11 "Right Here Right Now" - Jesus Jones (This had to be there. Doesn’t hold up at all.)
12 "New Jack Hustler (Nino's Theme)" - Ice-T (Shoulda been “Colors” or “High Roller” (one of my favorite early rap songs).)
13 "I Touch Myself" - Divinyls (I didn’t really “get” what this song was about when it came out. Hey, leave me alone, I was just a kid.)
14 "Unbelievable" - EMF (This had to be there. Still holds up well.)
15 "Hard To Handle" - The Black Crowes (“Twice As Hard” was a better song, but I won’t begrudge this pick)
16 "O.P.P." - Naughty By Nature (This was really a filthy song, especially for 1991. Great song, though.)
17 "Walking in Memphis" - Marc Cohn (Wow, nice sequencing. This guy sure fell off the earth quick.)
18 "It's So Hard To Say Goodbye to Yesterday" - Boyz II Men (Not my can of Coke, but Boyz II Men sure were huge for a while.)

Here is an update as big as my heart:

Deaf Comedy Jam: For the past month or so, my ears have felt...weird. Like they were filled full of wax. Except I'd go to town with a Q-tip and I'd still feel clogged. Then about two weeks ago, after the Jersey All Pro Wrestling show, my ears were ringing like I'd sat front row at a Metallica show. This was odd because (a) although they played some music, it wasn't loud, and (b) we weren't sitting anywhere near the speakers.

Then last Wednesday something went seriously wrong with my left ear--everything started sounding all tinny, and if it was someone talking they sounded like a robot. That's bad. It got worse the next day, as I woke up dizzy as hell, unable to stand without leaning on something. It was so bad I had to call in sick (first time in five years).

So I go to the doctor (first time in four years for that) and apparently all the rain the past few months has caused me to be affected by allergies, even though I don't have any. I got some pills and it's starting to clear up, although not as fast as I'd like.

Cyber Sox Update: Edgar Renteria tore his ACL in a game against the Yankees. I loved how the announcers were "Let's hope it's not too serious." Hey geniuses, I think a torn ACL is the dictionary definition of "serious." Then Manny fractured his leg the next game. Awesome.


Stuff only I find funny: I love watching baseball tonight for any mention of the Twins' Jacques Jones. Jacques is a black man from San Diego. That just cracks me up for some reason. He should act like a stereotypical Frenchman: wear a beret with the Twins logo, carry a poodle around, eat Crepes in the dugout, and talk in a whiny French accent: "I vill hit zee ball into the uppah deck." Holy shit that's awesome.

Future stuff: I should be touring Fenway park this Thursday, and also talking about Freakonomics, M*A*S*H, and Lost.