Vacation, all I ever wanted, vacation, how do you get away: A much much much much needed vacation started Friday for me after an 11 hour workday. This week will consist of sleeping, reading, watching DVD's, and maybe writing a script for that Bravo contest. Blogging may be light or heavy, I don't know which.

I don't know the exact date, but I think I just passed my ninth anniversary of being online. I got my first taste of the intenet when I started as a freshman in college in '95. The internet hadn't really exploded like it would in a few years, but God, that was mindblowing. I would goof off for hours in the library and computer labs looking up websites about sports, music, and especially wrestling. Yes, while others were busying imbibing enough alcohol to kill a horse, I was busily trying to find the results of the latest ECW show.

I can't wait to tell my future kids "When I was a kid, we didn't have any internet. If we wanted to look something up, we went to the library. If we wanted to make a call outside, we used a pay phone. And our video games were 8-bit, and goddamit, we liked it!"

Maybe you could sign up for a no-talent contest: Another sweet episode of O’Grady this weekend, concerning a talent show mixed with people acting like cats. These premises always sound bad but they always work perfectly. I definitely have a new favorite show. No new epsidoe this week but they’re running a marathon at 1:30 Friday night/Saturday morning if you want to catch up.

Jesus was American? Sweet! USA! USA!: Someone at Williams Street must have been ticked off lately, because last night’s Aqua Teen Hunger Force was insanely offensive. The basic gist of it was Meatwad reenacting the Immaculate Conception after seeing Jesus’ face on a billboard (for a gun store, no less). It also featured Ted Nugent and a nun getting her head blown off with a shotgun twice (along with a bizarre rant about Standard and Practices that lead to Jesus being called G-Whiz for the whole episode). Just a complete jaw dropper.

Well well well, you just can’t tell: I watched the Guns n’ Roses Behind the Music on Saturday. The only band members interviewed for the show were Slash, Steven Adler, Gilby Clarke, and Matt Sorum. Yeah, no Axl, I’m shocked too. Axl came off as predictably horrible (his defending the use of the “N” word in one of his songs defies description), although none of the band members came off looking like great guys. Most jarring was Adler, who was kicked out of the band for drugs and has since suffered a stroke. Just depressing. Remember how awesome G+R used to be? That seems like a million years ago.

Since most people seem to read this page by accident, here are some recent searches that lead people to this page:

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Acropolis Now: Haven’t watched much of the Olympics, although I did see the fencing finals on CNBC. The guy from Italy stabbed the dude from Hungary for the win, and then whipped his mask off and ran around like an idiot while the Hungarian froze with an “I’m going to hang myself in my hotel room” look.

The Italian guy’s name was Aldo Montano. He should have said “My name is Aldo Montano. You killed my father. Prepare to die” before the match.

Is there really Olympic Handball? Can you really brag about being a gold medalist Handball player?

Hold your horses, Annie Oakley: Soup 2 Nuts, the production company behind Dr. Katz: Professional Therapist, Home Movies, and Science Court (I may have been the only person in America who watched this show) has a new show on Noggin called “O’Grady.” It’s about 4 high school friends who live in a town with lots of X-Files style weirdness. I watched the episode where they tried to throw a party and everyone was losing their memory at the sound of a gong, which sounds iffy, but it worked surprisingly well. The characters are all likeable (and voiced by S2N veterans), the dialogue is snappy, and the animation has that nice low rent charm. It airs at various times during the weekend. Worth a view.

Had a weird dream the other night where I won an Emmy. It was really weird as I was in a dark room with other people and some guy in a balcony announced I won an Emmy for doing something on Chapelle's Show (may have been acting). I remember telling my mom and she was proud.

The strangest part was when I said "Now I have a Grammy and an Emmy." I'm very prolific on my dreams.

Picked up the Triumph DVD yesterday. It was worth the $15 for the Star Wars bit alone, but I had never seen the American Idol auditions (best part was Triumph calling the fat Hawaiian guy fat, and said fat Hawaiian guy having no idea what was happening).

I'm sorely tempted to buy my first Pride ppv, but there's an seven day lag between when the show happens and when it airs on PPV, so it's going to be hard to avoid spoilers for a week.

Have it your way: Really baffled by the Angus Diet series of commercials by Burger King. Granted, all the fad diets probably deserve to be mocked, but Burger King is a big part of the reason why people need to go on these diets. It's like Phillip-Morris making fun of lung cancer.

Fair Warning: I finally corrected the Van Halen greatest hits package by putting all the Dave songs on one disc and the Sammy songs on another, and just cut out the three new tracks and three lives tracks. All killer, no filler. And while the Dave disc is better, Sammy's holds up surpisingly well, despite some really schmaltzy songs.

Now, VH is on tour with Sammy right now, which is fine and good. But why don't they take Dave and Sammy out on tour. Have Dave perform first the first set, with stuff from Van Halen to 1984. Sammy can perform the second set with material from 5150 to Balance. Seriously, who wouldn't flock to this? I hate paying a lot of money for concerts and I'd gladly fork over big bills for this.

Back in a day or so.

No More Nomar:

The end of an era here in Boston, as Nomar Garciaparra got traded to the Cubs as part of a four team swap. A lot of people are dumping on the trade, but honestly, its best for all concerned parties. Nomar hated it here and Boston and was leaving at the end of the season, even if we offered him all the tea in Asia. No he gets a fresh start for the Cubs.

As for the Sox, we get Orlando Cabrerra and Doug Mientkiewicz, which hopefully upgrades our shitty defense. Do Doug and Orlando = Nomar? No. But we needed something and we improved a glaring weakness. It'll have to do.

I watched Nomar's debut in Chi-town and and saw a sign where "Nomah" was crossed out and "Nomar" was written underneath. That broke my heart a little.

Down With The Sickness:

I'm very susceptible to colds. For years, I'd get a least two every winter. But for the past two years I've been invinciable, not even getting a runny nose ever though this last winter was abysmal. So now, when its finally warming up, naturally, I'm under the weather. No idea how this happened--I haven't even been using my air conditioner lately. So I had a miserable weekend, but thankfully I'm on the tail end of things.

Ends n' Odds

Finished Watership Down, which may be the best book I've read all year. Seriously. The book is about a group of rabbits, but it is in no way a children's novel. It's a little slow to start but the second half the book is as suspenseful as anything I've ever read.

BTW, Watership Down is the name of a place, like Blueberry Field. It's not about a boat. Hey, shut up, I bet you thought it was about a boat too...